How to deal with conflict in Korean | Having arguments in Korean

안녕하세요 리더님! Koreanstudyjunkie에서 Junie입니다. In this lesson, you will learn how to deal with conflict in Korean and how to peacefully resolve issues that crop up.

INSPIRATION FOR THIS POST

All the below information was taken from my Group Speaking Class. Each week we select a theme (i.e, conflict and conflict resolution) and we learn vocabulary and phrases needed in those situations and we role-play and practice speaking based on the theme using those vocabulary words and phrases.

If you’d like to join in on my class, email me at: koreanstudyjunkie@gmail.com.

OR you can look for the Group Class here and sign up directly - patreon.com/junieteacher

Firstly, you should know that Koreans try to avoid conflict most of the time! The majority of things you’re going to learn in this lesson is about how to be indirect to resolve arguments and how to start arguments by being indirect as well haha.

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RELEVANT CULTURAL NOTES

Openly fighting in public is frowned upon. Quiet conflict resolution is expected.

Koreans often soften conflict with indirect speech or apologies, even if they aren’t at fault.

Even if the words are polite, tone can escalate or calm conflict.

Younger or lower-status speakers often back down faster in conflict.

Apologies are very common; “죄송합니다” is safer in formal settings than “미안해요.”

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ESSENTIAL GRAMMAR

There’s a chance you already know a lot of these, but I will list out some endings or concepts that are really useful for either making your language softer (resolving conflict) or even inciting some conflict or argument.

1. –지 마세요

= “Don’t … / Please don’t …” (firm but polite)

• 여기서 담배 피우지 마세요. → Please don’t smoke here.

• 떠들지 마세요. → Don’t be loud.

2. –아/어야 돼요

= “Must / have to …” (rules, obligations)

• 사과해야 돼요. → You have to apologize.

• 지금 말해야 돼요. → You must say it now.

3. –(으)면 안 돼요

= “Not allowed to / must not …” (prohibition)

• 버스에서 먹으면 안 돼요. → You can’t eat on the bus.

4. –(으)니까

= “Because … / since …” (used for justifying or arguing)

• 늦었으니까 택시 타세요. → Since you’re late, take a taxi.

• 버스 탔으니까요. = Because I took the bus. 

5. –는데요

= Soft disagreement, polite refusal, or “well, actually …”

• 그런데요? → And…? (invites explanation)

• 지금은 바쁜데요. → Well, I’m busy right now.

• 그건 좀 힘든데요. → That might be difficult (soft “no”).

6. –기는 하는데(요)

= “It’s true that…, but…” (acknowledges but adds contrast)

• 좋기는 한데 너무 비싸요. → It’s good, but it’s too expensive.

• 가기는 하는데 시간이 없어요. → I do go, but I don’t have time.

7. –(으)ㄹ 것 같은데요

= “It seems like … / I think … (but not sure)” (hedging opinion)

• 조금 늦을 것 같은데요. → I think I’ll be a little late.

• 힘들 것 같은데요. → I think that might be difficult.

8. –거든요

= “Because … / you see …” (explains reasoning softly, often after being questioned)

• 오늘 못 가요. 약속이 있거든요. → I can’t go today, because I have an appointment.

• 지금 안 돼요. 회의 중이거든요. → Not now, because I’m in a meeting.

9. –잖아요

= “You know … / as you know …” (appeals to shared understanding)

• 늦으면 안 되잖아요. → You know we can’t be late.

• 비싸잖아요. → You know it’s expensive.

10. –(으)ㄹ 수도 있어요

= “It might be … / it’s possible …” (softens disagreement)

• 오해일 수도 있어요. → It might be a misunderstanding.

• 잘못됐을 수도 있어요. → It could be a mistake

• 잘못일 수도 있어요. 

Why These Matter

These endings help you avoid sounding too blunt.

Instead of directly saying “No, that’s wrong,” you can say:

• “그건 조금 어려울 것 같은데요…” (That might be a bit difficult…)

• “그렇게 하기는 하는데, 다른 방법이 나을 것 같아요.” (That’s true, but another way might be better.)

They’re lifesavers in conflict resolution because they let you disagree, refuse, or argue without sounding rude.

I will also add in example dialogues of how to use these in actual disagreements.

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Useful Vocabulary

Conflict-related words

• 싸우다 → to fight

• 화나다 / 화내다 → to get angry / to express anger

• 오해 → misunderstanding

• 문제 → problem

• 규칙 → rule

• 약속 → promise

• 실수 → mistake

• 핑계 → excuse

Resolution-related words

• 사과하다 → to apologize

• 이해하다 → to understand

• 용서하다 → to forgive

• 타협하다 → to compromise

• 해결하다 → to solve

• 대화하다 → to talk/discuss

• 인정하다 → to admit

• 조용하다 → to be quiet

Ready To Go Phrases

• 그렇게 하지 마세요. → Don’t do that.

• 지금 안 돼요. → Not now.

• 이해 못 했어요. → I didn’t understand.

• 그건 불가능해요. → That’s not possible.

• 미안해요. 제 실수예요. → Sorry, it’s my mistake.

• 화내지 마세요. → Please don’t get angry.

• 우리 타협해요. → Let’s compromise.

• 다음에 해요. → Let’s do it next time.

• 제가 설명할게요. → I’ll explain.

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Example Dialogues for Conflict & Resolution

1. Arguing over a small thing → resolving & apologizing

Context: Two friends planned to meet. One is late.

A: 왜 이렇게 늦었어요? 한 시간이나 기다렸잖아요!

(Why are you so late? I’ve been waiting for an hour!)

B: 미안해요. 길이 너무 막혔거든요. 일부러 그런 게 아니에요.

(Sorry. The traffic was really bad. It wasn’t on purpose.)

A: 그래도 연락은 했어야죠.

(Still, you should’ve at least called.)

B: 맞아요. 제가 잘못했네요. 다음부터는 꼭 연락할게요.

(You’re right. I was wrong. Next time, I’ll make sure to call.)

A: 알겠어요. 이제 밥 먹으러 가요.

(Alright. Let’s just go eat now.)

2. Turning down someone’s invite politely/indirectly

Context: A classmate invites someone to hang out.

A: 이번 주말에 영화 보러 갈래요?

(Want to see a movie this weekend?)

B: 재미있을 것 같기는 한데요, 이번 주말엔 좀 바쁠 것 같아요.

(It sounds fun, but I think I’ll be busy this weekend.)

A: 아, 그래요? 다음에 같이 가요.

(Oh, really? Let’s go together next time then.)

B: 네, 다음에 꼭 같이 가요!

(Yes, let’s definitely go next time!)

3. Correcting someone politely

Context: Two friends are at a café. One misremembers the other’s order.

A: 너 아메리카노 마시지? 내가 주문할게.

(You drink Americano, right? I’ll order for you.)

B: 아, 고맙긴 한데요… 저는 라떼 좋아하는데요.

(Thanks, but actually… I like lattes.)

A: 아 맞다, 네가 라떼 좋아하지! 미안해, 착각했어.

(Oh right, you like lattes! Sorry, my mistake.)

B: 괜찮아. 신경 써줘서 고마워.

(It’s okay. Thanks for thinking of me.)

4. Misunderstanding → clarifying politely

Context: Someone misheard an appointment time.

A: 오늘 모임이 5시죠?

(The meeting is at 5, right?)

B: 아니요, 6시인데요.

(No, it’s at 6, actually.)

A: 아, 제가 잘못 들었나 봐요. 미안해요.

(Oh, I must have misheard. Sorry.)

B: 괜찮아요. 조금 헷갈릴 수도 있죠.

(It’s okay. It can be a bit confusing.)

A: 그럼 6시에 봐요!

(Then I’ll see you at 6!)

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That’s it for today’s post!

If you liked this leson, I have attached 3 other lessons I think you’d like. Scroll down to see them!

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